AGPU

 Run #2070 Monday 7th April Circle up 7:15 pm from the Park Inn, 15 Coles Lane, Kingskerswell for the AGPU with hare Beeflicker. There is a BBQ reportedly on the hash!

TVH3 The Words for 31st March 2025

The Pig & Whistle, Littlehempston

Run No. 2069

Twilight

HARE: Beeflicker

 

Who wuz there: Beeflicker, Man-Pig, Shitfaced, Zoot, Hotlips, Poacher, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Beeflicker, Beefy, Pisswell, Coldtits, Smellie, Well Hopped, Fukarewe, Ernie, Red Rum, Strap-On, Sarah, Smash, Miss Mash, Wet-Johnny, Only Here for the Beer, Slip-on-Me, Wetfart, Judgemental, Pocket Rocket, Melon-Picker, Soapy, Pork Torpedo, Horny, returnee Total Recoil and returnee/visitor from Portsmouth & District Hash - Turn-Up-Tony & his missus

 

Circle

It's just as well the Pig & Whistle has a large car park as we nearly filled it with a turnout of 33. Mind you, if the Bentley hadn't taken up two spaces, we could have avoided our solitary case of blocked-in parking.

 

Shitfaced introduced all to the Circle and asked a couple of returnees to reintroduce themselves. The returnees comprised local lad Total Recoil and visitor/returnee Turn-Up-Tony from Portsmouth & District (PAD) H3. Shitfaced additionally reminded us that he would be standing down as GM as from next week's AGPU. Interested parties please put your name forward. Uninterested parties will have their names put forward by someone else. If you do not attend the AGPU, you run the risk of being volunteered into a position that you know nothing about!

 

I think Smellie is OK for Hares up until about June. Nevertheless, Smellie politely reminded us that this is our Hash, a hobby that we all enjoy in equal share and that we shouldn't be be reliant upon the same old faces undertaking the Haring duties week-in and week out. It is your Hash, and like a lot in life, you get out of it what you put in. 

 

So I would ask al of you to consider laying a trail or two and also consider putting your name forward for a position on the Committee at next week's AGPU. 

 

Ergo, The Words. Yes, I love doing them but I am sure that some of you must get tired with the Pig's boring monotony. Everyone has their own style of writing and this applies equally to setting the Trails. Each Hare has their signature hallmark of how they lay a trail. So, how about we revert to nominating a different person to write the Words each week or take a leaf out of SH4's modus operandi? Their Hares are picked to Hare on the date nearest their birthday and the run's scribe is assigned alphabetically.

Onto the Hare for some (mis)information. The walkers' trail is 1.75 miles; Shorts' about 5 and Longs' 6.1 miles.....I think. Marks are always on your right. Some parts of the trail are bi-directional i.e. you'll be coming back on the out trail......simples!

 

Trail

The weather had been glorious for the past 2 days. The clocks had sprung forward the previous morning. This meant that, for the first time this year, we we starting the trail in daylight.......just.

We all trotted out of the gate and along the footpath at the back of the pub car park, towards Littlehempston. 

 

At the first check, another returnee, Fukarewe checks out a false trail....yes, it takes a little time to get back into the swing of things. Over a timber footbridge, along the edge of someone's garden, another gate and then a drop onto the small lane between Littlehempston and Uphempston. This short length of trail had dots of floor on both sides of the footpath....the out & back.

 

Our second check had us running downhill and to a third check at the quirky three way junction which comprises two small bridges.

 

Beefy checked fruitlessly to the left whilst FRB'ing Pork Torpedo was the first to call, "On-On" up the steep and broad rocky footpath up to the A381 (Totnes - Newton Abbot road). 

 

The trail crossed the road and continued up to a fishook. The first four about turned thus allowing the Pig the opportunity to get the next check wrong. 

 

We were now on a series of footpaths marked with arrows and checks. Right, left, right, left until we were back on road not too far from the entrance to the Berry Pomeroy estate. A brief chat with Fukarewe about properties and unfulfilled romances on Jubilee Road and then it was downhill and past Coombepark Cross heading for Gatcombe House. 

 

I catch up with Well Hopped and Pisswell just as Sarah is trying to lead them astray and onto the Medium trail......Medium? There was no mention of Medium in the Circle. This was, in fact, the L&S/Walkers' split. Sarah must have been reading it upside down! 

 

Realising their mistake, all elect to follow the LS marks. We are now on the narrow lane passing Gatcombe Mill. At its end there is a T-junction and an arrow pointing left. I catch up with Poacher who says that Cider is struggling. She is telling him that she doesn't want to Hash anymore.

 

"But she's only a young dog", mutters the Pig.

"Eleven", replies Poacher.

I am astounded. I recall when Cider was a tiny puppy. It only seems like yesterday.

 

We cross the A381 again. This part of the trail looks familiar. It is part of Wet-Johnny's trail from a couple of years ago. But, where would we go this evening? 

 

We carry on towards Hempstone Park where Beeflicker is calling back Beefy from a check. We carry on through the tiny hamlet of Uphempston. Behind me are Beefy, Sarah, Pisswell and Well-Hopped. In front, Wet-Johnny and Total Recoil. 

 

At the T-junction, an arrow directs us left and past the footpath that passed through the field of golden wheat on Wet-Johnny's trail some two years back. No check and no arrows so we carry on to a Y-junction with a track to right. Such an obvious trail but no marks. We stay on road for another 100 yards before the next check at the bottom of a track.

 

Man-Pig foolishly checks on road. Wet-Johnny sensibly checks out the long track to the west of Penny's Wood. This track is long, wide, steep and, yes, beautiful even though it is nearly pitch black - time for the torch. Sarah, Pisswell and Well-Hopped have stolen a lead on the drop down to Tally Ho Bridge. Again, I recognise this piece of road. It is part of a Bobbiball trail 2 or 3 years ago. Inevitably there is a check but the FRB's (Beefy, Wet-Johnny & Total Recoil) have already kicked it out. 

 

Under the railway bridge then left, right, left and up another long track to Parsonage Cross. Piswell, Well Hopped and the Pig then commence the final part of the trail, on road, back towards Littlehempston. Well, not quite the last part of the trail. We had forgotten the last Long/Short split. Just outside the village is the last L/S split. 

 

The Harriets go Short whilst the Pig is interested to find out where the Long would take him. He knew that he was heading for the SWW Sewerage Treatment Works but little else. Would he end up "Happy as a pig in sh*t?". Read on.

 

It proved to be a loop past Littlehempston Church (not going through the churchyard) and then past the Tally Ho pub and thence rejoining the outward trail.

 

Back in the pub car park by 8.50. Perfect timing and not a trace of sh*t anywhere on the Pig!

 

Down-Downs

Unsurprisingly, the Pig was last back. It had been an excellent trail; thoroughly enjoyed by all. Smellie arranged some free Down-Downs with the pub and as soon as scoffers had finished scoffing it was on with the DD's.

 

We start by thanking the pub for having us and for providing the Down-Downs. We haven't been here for a long, long time. I think it is nearly 15 years ago that TVH3 were last here but Poacher reckons that he laid a trail from here about 6 years ago, perhaps that was when I was abroad?

 

Wet-Johnny has the only Award present. It is the horned hat and he has a story. It is about the incident where a Harriet led other Hashers astray. This was achieved by reading a "W" as an "M" and thus taking said Hashers on an imaginary Medium Trail. Our misleading Harriet is, yet to be named, Sarah Bird. She is an English and drama teacher and likes riding horses.....put your thinking caps on for a naming in the next couple of weeks. We have the Hash Songmeister in our midst and he comes up with "Twenty Toes".

 

There are no more Awards so, "What did we think of the trail?"

 

"Amazing", "brilliant" were some of the comments. Beeflicker takes the water and our Songmeister comes up with the particularly apt, S.H.I..Y.T.R.A.I.L.

 

This DD is interrupted by the Landlord dropping a beer tray behind the bar. Hence, the next DD goes to the Landlord to a chorus of "Fry's Turkish Delight".

 

Smellie has a story but it is best recounted by the affected party. A senior member of TVH3 was less than gentlemanly to our visitor from PADS H3. Whilst climbing over a stile Wetfart let rip with a trainer filling liquid fart....right in the face of our following visitor. Wetfart has made himself scarce so our sneaking visitor gets a DD to the tune of, "Hold it in your hand Mrs Murphy".

 

One glass of beer left and one badge to award - and it is a biggy. Surprisingly, no one guesses the correct number which is 600. My money would have been on Coldtits or Soapy. It is neither. Shitfaced then announces the recipient. The badge is already in his hand. It is the Pig. I have no idea what ditty PT came up with. I was too busy gulping.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is our AGPU (Annual General piss Up). It is from the Park Inn, Kingskerswell. Our Hare is, once again, Beeflicker. Don't forget to throw your hats into the ring for a Committee position next week.....don't be shy now!

 

On-On to next week, M-P

PIG AND WHISTLE

Run #2069 Monday 31st March Circle up 7:15 pm from the Pig and Whistle, Newton Road, Littlehempston, Totnes TQ9 6LT with Beeflicker.

TVH3 The Words for 24th March 2025

The Highweek Inn, Newton Abbot

Run No. 2068 Awards' Night

 

HARE: Poacher

 

Who wuz there: Poacher, Man-Pig, Shitfaced, Forrest-Stump, Piltdown Man, Georgy Porgy, Beeflicker, Beefy, Pisswell, Psycho, Coldtits, Smellie, Roger the Dodger, Well Hopped, Big End, Ernie, Strap-On, Sarah, Red Rum, Smash, Miss Mash, Wet-Johnny, Only Here for the Beer, Two Little Schitz, Ablesemen, Slip-on-Me, Wetfart, Polyfella, Judgemental, Pocket Rocket, Archangel, Base Camp and Threesum

 

Circle

As per usual on an Awards Night, the car park filled early but everyone appeared to get parked satisfactorily. The roadworks inn Newton Abbot only resulted in two latecomers. Sarah, who just made the Circle and Polyfella who didn't!

 

The Circle commenced with Threesum collecting names for eaters. A heavily subsidised chilli con carne with baked potato at £5/head was on the menu. Noshing headcount over it was over to the RA.....possible for the last time. Shitfaced announced that he would soon be standing down from his position as RA due to work commitments. Accordingly, the Hash would have to put their thinking hats on and put themselves, or their choice of candidate, forward. Currently only Man-Pig has been pressganged volunteered to fill the position.

 

Smellie needs a Hare for the end of April.

 

Now it is over to the Hare. Poacher advises that: "The trail has everything" but we never did get clarification as to whether that included a Walkers' trail. However, there was definitely a Long and a Shorts' trail out there somewhere.

 

Trail

The evening was comparatively mild and dry. This was a good start, especially on a Poacher trail as you never know what you're going to get.

 

The first check was at the entrance to the pub car park. Hashers checked hither and thither eventually picking up marks going down Pitt Hill Road and then turning left along the footpath that leads onto the downs below Highweek Church. There ensued a lot of navel gazing or running around in circles until we were called "on" down Church Walk. But not for long as Poacher had us scrambling over a hedge for another loop around the down before continuing down Church walk to Exeter Road. 

 

At the roundabout, there was another check that took us onto the footpath that runs westward behind Knowles Hill School. Back onto Pitt Hill Road for a short while and then up Coombeshead Road before an arrow had us take a left and down another footpath to Ashburton Road.

 

Up to this point, the FRB's had alternated between, Psycho, Beeflicker, Wet-Johnny and Man-Pig....surely Beefy must have been at the front at some stage? 

 

Across the Ashburton Road and drop through a small park until we hit the River Lemon and turn left on the tarmac footpath that eventually runs past Sainsbury's. But we never got that far.

 

From this point on, I get confused. There is some trotting about in a residential area and a Long/Short split. Poacher takes the Longs up a narrow footpath and then off piste. I think we are in Bradley Woods. We climb up a long and steep, wild garlic covered hill to its top. There is not a sign of a track or rabbit run anywhere. The garlic is both pungent and slippery. Once at the top, we have to do the same down the other side.We drop down another slippery wooded slope. I can just see Poacher and Wet-Johnny's torchlight ahead of me. Behind me are Psycho and Beefy who are both threatening to fall like a house of cards on the poor Pig.

 

Eventually, we arrive onto a broad rocky track and head left for about 200 yards before hitting a check, but this time on a tarmac footpath. There is a call of "On" to our right from Beeflicker. We run parallel with a small leat to our right. I am sure that we are in Bradley Woods just below Bradley Manor. We pass the last Long short split and cross a small bridge over the River lemon and grind to a halt at a check. Poacher has forgotten where he is and needs illumination from Psycho. 

 

After a bit of scurrying around with Psycho's head torch Poacher marks the trail up a steep bank. In fact a bloody steep and high hill. Normally this would have been manageable. But it would have been better if Poacher had allowed Psycho to simply lend him her head torch. Joined at the head like some abominable circus attraction from the 19th century the pair commenced their ascent of the north face of the Eiger. These were closely followed by Wet-Johnny and Pisswell, who had caught us up whilst the headless duo were trying to find the trail. The Pig was tail end-charlie.

 

Just below its peak, a fallen tree impeded progress even further. Poacher calls back, "Watch your head". Too late. Wet-Johnny is bloodied and Pisswell is out of earshot. In an almost perfect replay Pisswell crawls under the tree and attempts to get up. Bang. She's hit her head on the same bit of tree as Wet-Johnny and crumples to the floor. A little dizzy, but otherwise unscathed, the sextuple continue on their way; this time down the mountain and onto the upper footpath. 

 

We pass the Puritans' Pit which always looks rather ghostly at night with its large crucifix. But tonight, we'd all be OK. No vampires were going to get anywhere near us for we were all reeking of the wild garlic which had impregnated our trainers.

 

Inevitably, we arrive at the Ford. An arrow has us pointing away from East Ogwell and across the Lemon.......bridge or ford. It's a tough choice but all six Longs maintain 12 dry feet as we commence our climb up the track that leads to Ogwell Mill Road. The last time that I had been up here the mill was a ruin. It appears to have been knocked down and rebuilt as a modern home....nice but no character.

 

The final leg has us arrive at the Ashburton Road at its junction with Barton Drive. It is left and then right and up the two footpaths (unusually dry for this time of year) that lead us back onto Coomeshead Road and the "OH" sign.

 

Back in the pub car park just before 9; a perfectly planned trail by Poacher and our only casualties are two sore heads.

 

Down-Downs

Back in the pub Forrest-Stump and Man-Pig are intercepted by Shitfaced before they can get to the bar.

"We want to get on with The Awards. Get the Down-Downs done as quickly as possible...all at the same time".

 

We had every intention of pandering to the whims of our gerrymandering GM but this would have to wait for another half an hour as the food was just coming out of the kitchen....one by one.

 

Scoff over, the Forrest-Pig duet spring into action. The Hare (Poacher), the head bangers (Wet-Johnny & Pisswell), Beefy and Sarah were called up, front and centre to receive their Down-Downs for various misdemeanours on trail.....mainly head banging and a being a drama queen. This was accompanied by a note for the head bangers.

 

Well, that was nice and quick so over to The Awards.

 

The Awards

After faffing around with his iPhone and its windscreen mounting holder, Shitfaced gets the show on the road. In addition to a T-shirt, the 2024 Awards winners will each receive a bag of flour. How topical! However, these are no ordinary bags of flour. Within each bag is a hidden gift.  

 

This immediately takes me back to my youth when my brothers and I used to badger mum to buy Kelloggs corn flakes. This was because the TV ads were promoting a free plastic toy in each pack.

The following morning we would all want cornflakes for breakfast. Each one of us hoping that the toy would drop out and into our bowl. It never did. It was always at the bottom of the pack. this resulted in the entire contents of the box being poured out over the kitchen table in order to retrieve the small plastic object of our desires. There then followed a hurried, and usually botched, attempt to get all of the cornflakes back into the box before Mum re-entered the kitchen. Almost inevitably, some cornflakes had made it onto the kitchen floor.....Mum was never impressed. But I digress

.

Shitfaced starts by thanking Threesum and, I think, an absent Zoot for arranging the T-shirts and arranging the venue for the Awards Night. Then it is straight into The Awards in no particular order.

Shitfaced announces that some Awards have been dropped this year, including Scribe of the Year; others have been combined i.e. hare of the Year and Best Lay of the Year, some have been remade and a new category of Groomer of the Year has been introduced.

 

First up is Harriet of the Year. The top three candidates name are read out and the winner, in this case the thoroughly deserving Pisswell is called up to collect her T-shirt and jolly useful bag of flour. regrettably, for all awards I cannot recall the names of those mentioned in dispatches but who fell a smidgen short of taking the top prize.

 

Hare of the Year goes to Poacher. Again, a deserving winner.

 

Hasher of the Year is awarded to Beefy, always there, reliable and many a magnificent trail to boot.

 

Newcomer of the Year goes to Pocket Rocket who is so delighted that he texts Runner Bean to rub it in. Don't you just love little brothers?

 

Best Sweetie/Drinks' Stop of the Year has many deserving contenders. My favourite was Ernie's strawberries and cream washed down with a Pimms refeshment stop. Although this was a runner up the votes had been cast and Beeflicker's wheeled pop-up bar was the winner. I am not sure that Psycho can remember much about that particular Hash.

 

Groomer of the Year goes to Pisswell - the only person to win two awards...but it might have been more.

 

On-Down of the Year is shortlisted to: The Park Inn, Beefy's Place and Tinkley Bottom. And the winner is......Tinkley Bottom! Forrest promises that he will have another firework hash there later this year!

 

Club Hasher of the Year goes to Piltdown Man for all his work in the background. At this point, the runners up are also invited up for a drink-off. The runners up are Psycho and Smellie. This is not quite your ordinary Down-Down. The trio line up behind a table. Each contestant has in front of them a half pint of beer and a half pint of water with a lemon in it. The rules....there are no rules in the Hash.......are to drink both glasses with one hand behind you back.

 

The gathered ensemble of TVH3 Hashers do not place bets and no money changes hands as this is going to be a one horse race. The dead cert is Psycho....and, let's face it, she's had enough experience this year. The thoroughbred finishes both glasses just as Smellie is starting on her water....but she is still progressing at a commendable lick. Not so Piltdown Man. Our three legged donkey has inadvertently strayed onto the course for the St Ledger. He is only one third of the way through his beer when the race is won. The Harriets have it. The Harriets have it. All rise.

 

And finally the...errrr....grand finale. Pillock of the Year. This goes to Only here for the Beer but there is no explanation forthcoming from our Master of Ceremonies as to the reason why. Maybe it was building his log cabin too close to the woods or perhaps it was the open brazier burning away next to a giant roll of hay - twice? Perhaps, we will never know?

 

Our winners then don their respective shirts for the obligatory Awards' photo for posterity and the evening is done for another year.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is from the Pig and Whistle, Littlehempston. We haven't been there for a while. Our Hare is Best Sweetie Stop award winner - Beeflicker.

 

On-On to next week, M-P

AWARDS NIGHT AT THE HIGHWEEK INN

Run #2068 Monday 24th March Circle up 7:15 pm from the Highweek Inn, Highweek, Newton Abbot TQ12 1QA with Poacher for our AWARDS NIGHT EXTRAVAGANZA. Excitement and disappointment aplenty on this, our Oscars night of the year!

TVH3 The Words for 17th March 2025

The Devon Dumpling, Shiphay

Run No. 2067 

 

Paddy's Day Run.....and someone's birthday

 

HARE: Beefy

 

Who wuz there: Beefy, Shitfaced (in body only), Man-Pig, Piltdown Man, Beeflicker, Pisswell, Coldtits, Smellie, Miss'ing, Roger the Dodger, Well Hopped, Ernie, Sarah, Smash, Miss Mash, Wet-Johnny, Erection, Only Here for the Beer, Two Little Schitz, Strap-On, Strap Dancer, Squashed Balls and AH3 visitors Gromit & Gazunder

 

Circle

Barely a Shamrock or a sign of green in the Circle to celebrate St Patrick's Day. That was up until Shitfaced tried to convene the Circle. It was, as repeated many, many times, Shitfaced's birthday....and it showed. I think that Shitfaced had enjoyed an early start celebrating. 

 

Eventually, everyone was welcomed and the GM imparted some new information. Namely a change of venue for next week's Awards' Night. The On-Down has changed to the Highweek Inn, Highweek (unsurprisingly), Newton Abbot.

 

Man-Pig had no announcements for a change but Squashed Balls did. Squashed Balls just wanted to thank all those that attended last Tuesday's funeral for Twin Buffers. There was quite a big turn out of Hashers, mainly from SH4 and TVH3. The eulogy was kind, sincere and comforting - a lovely send off for a lovely lady.

 

With that it was on to the sole Hare - Beefy. Pisswell was nowhere to be seen as this was Beefy Haring solo. I think the brief was Walkers' about 2.5, Shorts' about 3.5 and the Longs' trail sixish.

 

Trail

The evening brought with it a brisk and bitterly cold wind from the east. We were all eager to get going and warm up. Beefy promised us three Long/Short splits but delivered four...and that's excluding the initial split from the pub car park.

 

What followed was a trail so cunning that you could pin a tail on it and call it a weasel. Even with the benefit of Beefy's Strava record I am having difficulty recalling exactly where we went. Suffice it to say that there were at least two long/Short splits where the Longs looped around and back onto the Shorts......very cunning indeed.

 

The Walkers turned right out of the car park whilst the Longs and the Shorts turned left, up Collaton Road and then down Cadewell Lane and past the main entrance to Torbay Hospital. Miss'ing was FRB'ing with Wet-Johnny and the Pig in pursuit. 

 

Past the hospital the trail did not a go-go and W-J and the Pig were called back to engage in a loop around Rougement Avenue, Grosvenor Avenue and Wallace Avenue; back onto Cadewell Lane to rejoin the Shorts going down Water lane....a lovely and well hidden culture-de-sac [sic]. But this was not before a lone cyclist had rode towards us shouting, "On-On". Who on earth was this? Pisswell - as it turned out.

 

Surprisingly, the Pig and Wet-Johnny found themselves FRB'ing at this point. More perplexingly, they stayed there. I have no idea where Beeflicker was, or even if he was doing the Longs? Shirley a week is long enough to recover from the Grizzly......unless you're into face-planting? (see the Pig for guaranteed ways to enhance your looks by adopting the bitmac facial massage technique). The other usual suspects were also absent. The Topiary Twins were missing so no chance of Psycho getting an 8th consecutive Down-Down and Beefy was Haring. Hence some new faces at the head of the pack.

 

At the end of Water Lane, there wa a Long/Short split....or was it a Walkers/Long & Short split? Can't remember. Don't care. We were definitely on Shiphay lane for a while and then perhaps Lloyd avenue. Anyway, in next to no time we were passing the Chineses takeaway on Queenway before an almost invisible arrow had us enter the footpath that separates the boys and girls grammar schools. We followed the marks along the no-mans' land between the metal palisade fencing. The only thought that crossed my mind was, "Would this fencing really perform a secure barrier against jumping sperm?" There is a story behind this query....and it is a true story (see me for details of incredulous naivety).

Just exiting the no-mans' land, we meet up with Beefy, Gromit and Gazunder. Gromit has recovered well from his earlier, and undisclosed, fall. 

 

We are now in a loop around the edge of a small park and probably along Raleigh Close and Grenville Avenue taking in a bit of Markham Plantation....are we heading to Cockington? Another footpath across a road and up Weeksland Road would be my guess and then up the steep track that leads onto Staddons Lea Lane. Some of these paths look familiar but I am not used to running them in this direction so I am having difficulty placing myself...until....hallelujah....Nut Bush Lane. A loop into a field parallel with Nut Bush City Limits and back across and down the track past Armada Park. 

 

At the lowest point, an arrow leads us into Armada Park. We now do three sides of a square around the submerged reservoir.

 

The marks really are quite excellent and we are soon out of the park and heading for Higher Edginswell Lane. A long descent followed by our fourth Long/Short split of three?! 

 

Back up Fowey Avenue turn right at the garden gnomes and back onto Higher Egdinswell Lane to retrace our footsteps back onto the Shorts. Then it is a straight trek along Higher Cadewell Lane and "On Home" at Collaton Road.

 

Looking at the OS map, Beefy has done jolly well. He has very nearly had us back on the outward trail by yards and he seems to have covered every footpath in Shiphay. It's not surprising that he's clocked up 15 miles laying it....fantastic. 

 

Who says that you can't have a good Hash in town? Excelllent.

 

Down-Downs

Back in the pub, it is evident that the birthday boy never actually made it out on trail. He is a tad wobbly. Hence Shitfaced gets all the right notes.....but not necessarily in the right order.

 

The second Down-Down goes to the Hare. But not for Haring. This is for delivering a wholly inaccurate pre-Hash briefing. We were all clearly advised that there would be three Long/Short splits. there were, in fact, four. Well, four for everyone except Smellie who, somehow, managed to find five L/S splits. Both were called up front and centre - a note for the mathematically challenged. Beefy also gets the only award present, the Checking Chicken Hat.

 

Are there any stories? Well Hopped has one. Unfortunately, she has had the misfortune to be sitting beside our rather wobbly GM. 

 

I think the gist of the story was that Shitfaced had asked her, on four occasions within 15 minutes, "Do you know it's my birthday today?" A rather poor chat up line and I can't recall what we sang.

There is a half pint of water left but are there any more stories?

 

Pisswell discloses that there were quite a few fallers on the Shorts' trail. These included Ernie and Strap-On. Strap-Dancer confirmed that Strap-On will sleep anywhere and at every opportunity....but cuddling up to a sleeping policeman in the middle of the road...at night! How unwise. A note for the Plod Lover.

 

Next week

Next week's Hash is the AGPU....so be there! Our Hare is, once again, trail laying supremo - Poacher.

 

On-On to next week, MP